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18 February 2012

wood > coal


18 January 2012

So I’m sitting in my ger during break, not really doing much, just minding my own business, forgetting to go to the kindergarten, you know, the usual, when I hear a truck pull up outside. I don’t really think much of it until I hear bags of…something getting dropped alongside my ping accompanied by the grunts of Mongolian men. Then I hear a woman chattering and I realize that my shower plans are going to have to be delayed because something very not good is happening.

What’s not good? Coal, that’s what. Six 25-kilo bags of the nasty stuff.

Now, I sort of knew this was coming. I tried to get out of it by telling Peace Corps that I like wood and that coal had never really worked out for me. I had a very unproductive phone conversation with my regional assistant (same day as the conversation in the last post) about things that were missing in my ger.
“Ashley, do you have coal?”
“Well, I had it once, but I don’t really need more.”
“Oh no, you should have coal! It’s very warm.”
“Maybe I’m not doing it right, but it doesn’t help. At all.”
“Oh Ashley, that is very not good. You should burn coal! Ask your hashaa family to teach you.”
“Okay, I guess, but I’d rather just burn wood.”
“I will tell your director to give you coal.”
After that, I tried to forget about the conversation and hope that she forgot too, but no, if there’s one thing Peace Corps Mongolia does well, it’s making sure that we don’t freeze to death. I’d rather they put that muscle into making someone chop enough wood for me to last a week because that’s a much more attractive option.

Most non-apartment dwelling PCVs burn coal. I think I may be the only ger person who doesn’t; I’m not entirely sure though. Back when I was fire-making challenged, my hashaa family arranged for me to get a bag of coal to make it easier to start my fires. If I do it like that during the day, it usually works out well. The coals do their thing while I’m at school, then all I have to do is put some wood on top and BAM fire. At night – not so successful. Everyone claims coal burns for about 4 hours but either I’m doing it wrong (likely), or coal just sucks (also likely) because after an hour the large amount of coal I dump on has burned itself out. The end result is that I get dirty and still wake up at 4am shivering and unable to feel my face because I had fallen asleep not completely covered by my sleeping bag. Le sigh.

Everyone has really been pushing me to burn coal at night. They tell me it will keep my ger warmer at night (yet to be proven), that my ger will be warmer in the morning (HA!), and that it’s what everybody does (say no to peer pressure!). And I do mean everyone – my director, my hashaa family, other school teachers, and my regional PC staff think it’s a fantastic idea. I’m not sold. I mentioned that coal helps me out during the day but that’s not because it keeps my ger warm. All it really helps with is starting a fire up again. I lose even that overnight because there are too many hours between when I go to bed and when I get up.

Why I Hate Coal
  1. It smells bad
  2. If you drop a piece, it explodes. All over my nice newly-washed floor
  3. It’s dirty. Don’t believe what Pennsylvania wants you to believe about “clean coal” – lies!
  4. It leaves an obscene amount of ash in my stove whereas wood burns almost completely away
  5. Wood may give me splinters but those are easily tweezed away. Coal icky-ness (technical term) washes away reluctantly
  6. It makes me feel like I’m suffocating
  7. Wood makes a comforting crackling sound when it burns. Coal sounds like a raging inferno. I posit that the idea of hell being composed of fire was created by people burning coal
  8. Carbon monoxide poisoning. I may not have gotten it yet, but I psyche myself into thinking that I have it just by looking at the stuff.
  9. Kitty likes to sit on my woodpile and in the coal bags. Then sit on my face. The walking in her potty box then sitting on my face issue is somewhat related.
  10. I feel like there should be ten reasons but I can’t think of a good one to finish off the list with. Let’s go with – I’m stubbornly against using coal and you’ll never change my mind. So there!

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